3 Questions That Helped Me Stop Trying to Control Everything and Start Trusting God

There’s a difference between being responsible and being in control. I didn’t realize how much I was trying to control everything—every outcome, every opportunity, every little step—until I hit a wall of exhaustion and confusion. I was doing all the "right" things. But things still weren’t working.

And in the middle of that breakdown, I realized something: just because it looks good doesn’t mean it’s good for me.

That’s when God gave me three questions. Not deep theological ones. Just real, simple ones that got straight to the root.

1. Is this for me?

We don’t ask this enough. Sometimes it’s a job, sometimes it’s a friendship, sometimes it’s a project that looks amazing on the outside. But just because something is shiny doesn’t mean it’s yours. And even if it’s good for someone else, it doesn’t mean it’s part of what God has called you to.

I started asking God that question about everything.
Not just the hard things—but even the exciting ones.
And you know what I learned? Some of the things I was chasing were distractions wrapped in opportunity.

2. What do You want me to do?

This one sounds basic. But most of us skip it. We assume. We lean on what worked before. We do what’s expected. We do what seems productive.

But Proverbs 3:6 says: "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

That word—acknowledge—changed everything for me. I don’t just make moves anymore. I check in. I ask. I wait to hear.

There’s a difference between asking God to bless your plan, and asking God what the plan is in the first place.

In my first post, Why I Said 'I Am Safe' and Everything Changed, I shared how God used one moment to stop all my striving. That moment taught me how to listen again—and it led directly to the journal I now carry with me every day.

3. When?

Even when you know the what, you still need the when.
Because the right thing at the wrong time will still wear you out. It’ll drain your energy. It’ll get in the way of something else that’s supposed to be unfolding.

Timing is part of trust.
And trust requires relationship.

But here's the part that’s just as important: don’t use "waiting on the Lord" as an excuse to do nothing.

There’s a difference between delay and disobedience.
Some people say they’re praying about it when they’re really just procrastinating. And that’s not faith—that’s fear in disguise.

God has something called a moed—His appointed time. When God opens a window, when He makes a way, it’s strategic. It’s on purpose. It’s divine timing.

Imagine if the Israelites had shown up at the Red Sea an hour late. Or an hour early. That sea would’ve been still, or closed. Timing mattered.

When God says move, move.

I shared more about what happens when you actually say yes to God, even when you don’t understand the outcome. That’s a whole journey by itself—and I wrote about it in What Happens When You Say Yes to God.

A Journal That Walks With You

If these questions resonated with you, the I AM SAFE™ Journal is one place you can start sorting through them. It's not just a journal—it's a check-in tool. It helps you pause, listen, and move from a place of clarity.

I didn’t create it to be trendy. I created it because God told me to. And I'm still walking that story out.

This journal isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence.

You can get yours here: Preorder the I AM SAFE™ Journal

Or learn more about the deeper story behind it: The  I AM SAFE Journal

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If you're tired of overthinking, overplanning, and overdoing, try these three questions. See what God says. And see what peace feels like when you stop carrying what you were never meant to hold.

Roserbie Theoc
Founder, Dear Diaries & Co